Up Monday morning to say farewell to Mary, who had work that day unfortunately or else we could have spent more time with her, and then we caught the train back to London.
Our wish list of things to do consisted of climbing Monument, going to Tower of London, checking out Oxford Circus (and the Abercrombie and Fitch store) and then maybe a play. We ticked off one thing and one thing only: the Tower of London.
The train from Leigh-on-Sea goes into Fenchurch St station so we were already at Tower Hill. We had a 2-for-1 offer for the Tower of London because we’d caught a C2C train so that meant it wasn’t going to cost us as much to get in. About £21. We bought our tickets, joined the long queue and got in at about 11am.
I have never seen so many people at the Tower of London before. It was another beautiful day and there were tourists everywhere. We were lucky enough to arrive 15 minutes before the Beefeater Tour, which had a crowd of about 100 people. Lucky the Beefeaters are so loud.
I’ve done the Beefeater Tour before so bits and pieces came back to me but it was still enjoyable to hear it all again, including all the terrible dad jokes (which make me laugh). After the tour finished in the Chapel of St Peter Ad Vincula we joined the queue for the Crown Jewels. Oh, and the Beefeater who took the tour also cares for the eight Tower ravens and you can follow him on Twitter (@ravenmaster1).
It took us about 20 minutes to get inside and then another 10 or so to actually get to the jewels. We were behind a group of about 15 six-year-olds who were happily snapping away on their disposable cameras (we didn’t think there would actually be anywhere they could get them developed but surely they could). They would quickly take a photo of each other and then wind the film and take another. A lot of them had gone through their whole roll before they’d even stepped inside the building. The South African dad was amusing as he tried to “herd cats” (his words).
Enjoyed looking at the Crown Jewels (ha ha) though we were in and out in about 15 minutes. Which was great as then it was lunch time and we could get some food. Then we looked at the Beasts of the Tower exhibition before heading into the White Tower and looking at the Line of Kings, one of the world’s oldest tourist attractions. The place was packed as usual and people seemed so unaware of others around them.
King Henry III’s polar bear was tied to a long rope so it could go fishing in the Thames.
Snakes were wrapped in blankets and kept on a stove to keep them warm.
King James I designed a nipple so sick lion cubs at the Tower could be bottle-fed.
Uncaged monkeys lived in a room where visitors could walk among them. It was shut down after a monkey attacked a boy.
The last Royal Beasts left the Tower in 1832 for the new London Zoo.
It’s been a recurring theme of this trip that people just mill about, stop whenever and wherever they feel like it and don’t stick to a side. So infuriating considering how ordered people are in Toronto and on the whole they keep to the right. London doesn’t seem to have such order. And it’s really frustrating.
While in the White Tower we joined a tour that was about to start in the White Chapel. Led by Gareth. Gareth was dreamy. It was interesting to hear some of the stories he told us that were repeats of the ones from the Beefeater tour but with some alterations or additions. Not sure who to trust. Who am I kidding? I’ll trust Gareth. Sigh.
Looked at the torture chamber (which was only one room) and Donna and I remarked how it was just yet more ways of people coming up with ways to kill each other. We’d already seen swords and guns and maces so seeing the rack, scavenger’s daughter and manacles was the icing on the death cake.
One of our last stops was the Bloody Tower but before we went in I decided I wanted a photo with a Beefeater. We waited while an American family fiddled with their camera. The woman (I think she was the grandmother as the kids were quite young) said to the Beefeater, “So where are these stupid crown jewels?” There was a Beefeater standing behind the one in the photo whose eyes nearly popped out of his head. She then said something like, “I’ve got my own jewels,” to which the Beefeater replied, “I can guarantee they’re nothing like these madam.”
Because they were taking so long we went with this other Beefeater who couldn’t believe what the woman had said, and I think would have loved to say more. Standing around in the heat in his uniform probably didn’t help his patience.
But anyway, Donna took the photo of me and the Beefeater and then proceeded to say he was surprised Donna could use such a complex piece of machinery, and that women/girls should only know how to use a vacuum cleaner and an iron. Donna and I laughed uncomfortably but later realised we should have held him to task. He said it in a joke-like way but isn’t that how all sexist remarks come out like? We moved on.
Checked out the Bloody Tower then the coins/mint exhibition, by which point our brains were full. I’d read an interview with an author who’d written a book about Isaac Newton becoming head of the Royal Mint and fixing up the currency, so it was pretty cool to see him mentioned in the exhibition (and the man he helped put in jail, a man called Challoner, I think).
By this stage it was about 4pm so five hours in the Tower of London was a great effort. I don’t think I’ve spent that much time there before. One of the memories I have of going there when I was seven was with mum. It was winter so the place was largely empty. We came around a corner to find an unattended suitcase at the top of the stairs (and I remember the stairs and the spot too). I didn’t think anything of it, being only seven, but this was the time of the Gulf War and IRA bombings, so mum ran to find someone, which prompted a search for the owner. Turned out it belonged to one of the builders doing renovations in the Tower. No bomb today.
Donna and I made a quick trip to Leicester Square to see what half-price tickets were available (sadly not many by 5:30pm on a Monday and definitely none for Matilda) but we didn’t go to anything. We caught the train home, told Jackie about our day and then went out for dinner together to the Hair and Tortoise. We had sushi, seaweed salad and edamame and then a main each. Yum! Didn’t get up to much else in the evening, except walking home and we passed Nick Clegg’s house (and his security detail), and then we probably tumbled into bed at about 11.
A great day.
Travels with Dan 
What do you say, eh?